Ten YouTube comments translated into standard English

DelSquacho:

Have you ever read through some of the comments on YouTube and wondered to yourself, "What in the blue fuck are these people talking about?" Does reading page after page of half-assed, grossly-misspelled, heavily-abbreviated 1337 fill you with an inescapable air of dread, as you mourn for the future of mankind? We felt the same way. Therefore, as a public service to regular folks who appreciate lofty grammatical ideas such as punctuation and spelling, we thought we'd translate some of the more outlandish comments into standard English. We should also point out that in many cases, we just had to guess. And no, we didn't make any of them up; they are all pasted verbatim. Seriously. (more)