Last Friday, I was getting out of work. I was in a meeting so I was wearing a suit, which ended up being perfect.
I was waiting at a crosswalk, and this lady wasn't paying attention and walked into the street. She's about 45-50 I guess? The street was pretty empty in both directions except for a bus in the close lane that the lady didn't see. The bus was coming in pretty fast, and I don't know how she missed it, but to her credit there were some bus stops and parked cars and stuff that may have obstructed the view.
Anyways, just as the bus started honking and slamming breaks, I grabbed her and pulled her back. She would have probably made it anyway, but it made a pretty nice dramatic effect.
So this lady was really freaked out by the whole thing. She was sorta stuck in between thanking me, and catching her breath. So (and wtf did this come from I have no idea), I pulled out my PDA and said "This is Commander Navarrette, I saved the subject. The time is 4:39 pm." She had no idea what was happening and kept looking at me all dumb. So I said something to the effect of, "Ma'am I need your signature to affirm that you were here and I stopped you from getting run over by the 4:39 bus."
I didn't know what she thought about the situation, but I decided to press it a bit further. I opened my pda's drawing thing (ooo high tech) and asked her to sign it, which she did.
I thanked her then followed up with "Your grandson is very important," which immediately I realized was really dumb because she didn't look like she was old enough to have grandchildren.
"I don't have a grandson," is all she said. I freaked out for a second, thinking I just made a total ass of myself. But then I said "You will," and gave her sorta a wink/smile.
The crosswalk light was green and I walked off. She stood there A few seconds later she yelled "wait!" but I was already across the street and pretended I didn't hear and kept walking.
I have no idea what she thought of the whole thing, but even the idea of her thinking I was from the future totally made my day.
Wednesday, April 7
Dept. of unplanned pranks
From somewhere on 4chan:
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